Honey Snobbery

A well-dressed gentleman lifts a tiny, crystal glass from a lace-covered table. Several goblets sit side by side, holding amber goo. The man picks up a doll-size silver spoon, dips it into the goblet, and smears the spoon’s contents onto his lips. His tongue runs around his mouth. He sighs.

“Robust, though delicate. Retains a memory of August berries and morning dew.” He sets the goblet down, gulps water from a regular glass, and moves to the next one.   

A woman in elegant silk similarly raises a goblet and dunks a spoon into it. She places the goo on her tongue and clamps her mouth shut. “Hmm,” she says. “Somber, yet hints at gaiety.  A warbler’s song lingers in the back of the throat.”

I don’t know whether formal honey tastings occur. But when food, taste, and flavor enter the picture, snobbery often follows. Wine, tea, coffee, and chocolate have fierce enthusiasts who champion favorites. Even milk, our first and most basic food, attracts zealous fans. Full or reduced fat? Pasteurized or raw? Can products derived from oat, coconut, almond and soy claim to be milk? Are yak, camel, and goat milk more healthful? Be sure to check around for purists before bringing up the subject of milk.        

I have been to two honey tastings—both connected to beekeeping classes. Paper pill cups held the honey, and we dipped toothpicks in them. It was fun and enlightening.

A thick, black variety that looked like molasses surprised me. The placard said Buckwheat. Tiny buckwheat flowers require the bees to work hard. Flowers often come in dark colors, but buckwheat honey can be reddish or amber, too. It isn’t as sweet as most other honey, but its strong flavor makes it great for baking. Buckwheat honey advocates say it may be better for you and help keep blood sugar levels down in diabetics.

Manuka honey has attracted a following. Native to New Zealand, this honey comes from the Manuka bush and contains methylglyoxal, which may strengthen its antibacterial properties.  Fans say its health benefits have been proven in studies. Those include improvement in digestive health, soothing coughs, ulcers, acne, and gingivitis, and even mitigating some symptoms of cystic fibrosis. Generally, this honey costs more.  

More than 300 varieties of honey have been identified. Clover may be the most popular kind. Harvested in New Zealand, Canada, and North America, clover honey tastes sweet and light, and works well in recipes.  

 Elvish honey, the most cherished in the world, comes from a cave in northern Turkey and has been called the true nectar of the gods. Elvish honey costs $6,800 for a gram.

Here are a few of the others:

Dandelion honey, a strong honey, has a dandelion aroma and is considered medicinal in China, Tibet, and India.  

Mesquite honey, from the southwestern United States, has a smoky aroma.

Lavender honey has a woody and floral taste.

Fireweed honey, a premium honey, comes from Western Canada and the Northwestern U.S.

Orange blossom, from a combination of citrus fruits, has a fresh, fruity taste, and is made and consumed in many countries. In the U.S., Florida, California, and Texas produce it.

Alfalfa honey, mostly produced in the United States and Canada, has a mild, sweet taste and combines nicely with beverages like tea and lemonade.   

Eucalyptus honey is valued across the world for protection against colds and headaches. It can vary in taste, but has an herbal flavor and slight aftertaste of menthol.

With so many and varied kinds of honey, the opportunity for honey tasting events seems endless. Along with the prospect of pretentious metaphors.